Next stop, a montage of all the Christmas gifts I'll receive because people love me that much. After all, everyone knows how much money spent on you is the most direct measurement of genuine affection. Anyone who says otherwise is a liar. (TOTALLY kidding if the sarcasm wasn't apparent).
And nothing gets me more in the spirit of Christmas than my favorite R&B singer doing her best impression of a Christmas Tree Sausage Hybrid:
Looks like Mariah has some competition.
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