Driving

Between living at home during college, my job in Sunnyvale, and regular trips to LA and Oregon, I've accumulated a pretty hefty amount of mileage behind the wheels. So of course, along with the driving are the pet peeves associated with the drivers that aren't me (of course) and the all encompassing road rage that gets worse year by year. So out of the many things that tick me off on the road (i.e. slow mergers, lane hoppers, etc.), by far THE WORST offenders are easily the Road Boulders: slow people in the faster lanes.

What distinguishes these horrible drivers from the rest of the horrid masses is basically the TIME spent with them. Now, asshole drivers who cut me off to get ahead, I can get pissed for about half a minute, and then they're gone from my sight and I appease myself with the idea that maybe the CHP is about two miles down ready to pull them over. Similar logic applies to crappy mergers - once the merge is done with, it's pretty much over. Road Boulders on the other hand, I'm stuck behind them. And STUCK I remain while they drive along, completely oblivious to how much an asshole they really are and the extra commuting minutes they're adding to all the people behind them. People who are PISSED because there's a reason why the woke up at buttcrack of dawn and it ISN'T to drive 50 mph in the fast lane. So I created a guide to identifying the indicators that you might want to MOVE the F*** over. X marks the Road Boulder.


1. The distance between you and the car in front of you is enough for two other cars to squeeze in from the right side (which they probably already have).
2. When you look behind you, there's at LEAST two cars tailing closely behind you. No, they are not aggressive assholes tailgating, they just merely want to go FASTER in the FAST lane.
3. Not enough evidence? The cars on your RIGHT are passing you.
4. Still not enough? The huge semis in the slow lane are passing you. MOVE OVER.

The only thing worse than not moving over? When they SPEED up when you try to pass them on the right. And all of this is perfectly legal. It really shouldn't be.

Conclusion: "Slower Traffic Stay Right" isn't JUST a suggestion.