Tuesday, November 18, 2008
Friday, September 26, 2008
Happy Anniversary
It's getting close to the year mark since I've started this blog with the intention of pawning some early morning work (shh) ramblings onto my (admittedly, few) friends. Plus, the additional challenge of expressing my thoughts in a non-bullet note format. On that note, it's only been a very partial success.
Anyway, instead of using the whole New Year to look back at what I've done, I figured blog world anniversary is as a good excuse as any. So, onto the bullet list of things I have learned (or mostly verified more concretely).
1. Conversation: No matter how righteous a tone I take on, a great friend will see through it and always tell me I'm full of crap when I'm full of crap. Surrounding oneself with sycophants is highly overrated. Though, I'm probably just saying that because I've never been non-dorky enough to be on the receiving end of sycophantic adoration.
2. Animals: Always wait at least an hour after your dog takes a dump before cleaning up after him; Big dog pee kills grass like no other; and all animals like Nick better than me.
3. Heroes: Veronica Mars. Veronica Mars. Veronica Mars...and Gob.
4. Politics: Despite my declaration that I wasn't going to be a mindless party-follower and instead strive to be a vigorous fact-finding/informed voter, I find myself fixating on the negative information on who I'm predisposed to dislike and only concentrating on the positives of those I would had voted if I had believed in all the campaign lies in the first place. So end result? Keeping tabs on the election is entertaining, but I'd be ridiculously pretentious to think that I was being objective in terms of my views. At least I can promise I'll still never be an obnoxious online political article commentator who can't spell. Grr. Those drive me crazy.
5. Work: I can actually be decent at it. It'd be nice if I could be as vigorous with my EE industry knowledge as I was with my celebrity gossip. I guess we can put that as a new blog year resolution.
6. Laughs: Sam's blog. Jess. Ashley.
Anyway, instead of using the whole New Year to look back at what I've done, I figured blog world anniversary is as a good excuse as any. So, onto the bullet list of things I have learned (or mostly verified more concretely).
1. Conversation: No matter how righteous a tone I take on, a great friend will see through it and always tell me I'm full of crap when I'm full of crap. Surrounding oneself with sycophants is highly overrated. Though, I'm probably just saying that because I've never been non-dorky enough to be on the receiving end of sycophantic adoration.
2. Animals: Always wait at least an hour after your dog takes a dump before cleaning up after him; Big dog pee kills grass like no other; and all animals like Nick better than me.
3. Heroes: Veronica Mars. Veronica Mars. Veronica Mars...and Gob.
4. Politics: Despite my declaration that I wasn't going to be a mindless party-follower and instead strive to be a vigorous fact-finding/informed voter, I find myself fixating on the negative information on who I'm predisposed to dislike and only concentrating on the positives of those I would had voted if I had believed in all the campaign lies in the first place. So end result? Keeping tabs on the election is entertaining, but I'd be ridiculously pretentious to think that I was being objective in terms of my views. At least I can promise I'll still never be an obnoxious online political article commentator who can't spell. Grr. Those drive me crazy.
5. Work: I can actually be decent at it. It'd be nice if I could be as vigorous with my EE industry knowledge as I was with my celebrity gossip. I guess we can put that as a new blog year resolution.
6. Laughs: Sam's blog. Jess. Ashley.
Monday, July 28, 2008
E-mail Post
I generally don't make it a policy to post whatever hilar-lar story I receive via e-mail. But today's entry courtesy of Juhi was just too ridiculous to pass up. Easily the best writing I've seen EVER.
Every year, English teachers from across the USA can submit their
collections of actual analogies and metaphors found in high school essays.
Here are last year's winners.
1. Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master.
2. His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.
3. He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.
4. She grew on him like she was a colony of E. Coli, and he was room-temperature Canadian beef.
5. She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.
6. Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.
7. He was as tall as a six-foot, three-inch tree.
8. The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because of his wife's infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge at a formerly surcharge-free ATM machine.
9. The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't.
10. McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty bag filled with vegetable soup.
11. From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and Jeopardy comes on at 7:00 p.m. Instead of 7:30.
12. Her hair glistened in the rain like a nose hair after a sneeze.
13. The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot grease.
14. Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. Traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. At a speed of 35 mph.
15. They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fences that resembled Nancy Kerrigan's teeth.
16. John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.
17. He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant, and she was the East River.
18. Even in his last years, Granddad had a mind like a steel trap, only one that had been left out so long, it had rusted shut.
19. Shots rang out, as shots are wont to do.
20. The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work.
21. The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating for a while.
22. He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but a real duck that was actually lame, maybe from stepping on a land mine or something.
23. The ballerina rose gracefully en Pointe and extended one slender leg behind her,
like a dog at a fire hydrant.
24. It was an American tradition, like fathers chasing kids around with power tools.
25. He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a garbage truck backing up.
Every year, English teachers from across the USA can submit their
collections of actual analogies and metaphors found in high school essays.
Here are last year's winners.
1. Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master.
2. His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.
3. He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.
4. She grew on him like she was a colony of E. Coli, and he was room-temperature Canadian beef.
5. She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.
6. Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.
7. He was as tall as a six-foot, three-inch tree.
8. The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because of his wife's infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge at a formerly surcharge-free ATM machine.
9. The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't.
10. McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty bag filled with vegetable soup.
11. From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and Jeopardy comes on at 7:00 p.m. Instead of 7:30.
12. Her hair glistened in the rain like a nose hair after a sneeze.
13. The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot grease.
14. Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. Traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. At a speed of 35 mph.
15. They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fences that resembled Nancy Kerrigan's teeth.
16. John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.
17. He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant, and she was the East River.
18. Even in his last years, Granddad had a mind like a steel trap, only one that had been left out so long, it had rusted shut.
19. Shots rang out, as shots are wont to do.
20. The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work.
21. The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating for a while.
22. He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but a real duck that was actually lame, maybe from stepping on a land mine or something.
23. The ballerina rose gracefully en Pointe and extended one slender leg behind her,
like a dog at a fire hydrant.
24. It was an American tradition, like fathers chasing kids around with power tools.
25. He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a garbage truck backing up.
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
Mini-stories from my trip
On our layover in Tokyo, I decided to pass the time by buying a Japanese Elle and flipping through the pictures. Actually, that's a lie. I bought the Japanese Elle to cover the fact that Nick was purchasing porn. He didn't want to appear like a complete pervert/weirdo, taking me into the store JUST to get Japanese Schoolgirls Gone Wild. A spread-eagle Madonna was obviously a much more appropriate cover.
Anyway.
While flipping through the pages, my mom decided that moment was great for quality bonding time and started peering over my shoulders, all inquisitive like. When I came across a spread depicting red carpet pictures of Victoria Beckham, Gwyneth Paltrow, and Angelina Jolie, etc., I received her patented, "Ewww...yucky!" Here's how the conversation (generally went):
Me: "Oh, you don't find them attractive?"
Mom: "Not at all!"
Me: "Too skinny?"
Mom: "TOO FAT!!!"
Me: "Uh...you do realize this woman [point to Posh] is known for being so skinny people think she has an eating disorder?"
Mom: "Fat."
Me: "Do you SEE her arms?" [now Angelina]
Mom: "Still fat. Look at her gigantic boobs."
Me: "You do realize if you were to stand next to any of these women, you'd be very short and very huge?"
Mom: "Well, I'm fat too."
Me: "That you are." [jiggles her belly]
Yeah, Nick says I'm an ass.
And just for more complete documentation, photos of my dad's reflexology session.
Anyway.
While flipping through the pages, my mom decided that moment was great for quality bonding time and started peering over my shoulders, all inquisitive like. When I came across a spread depicting red carpet pictures of Victoria Beckham, Gwyneth Paltrow, and Angelina Jolie, etc., I received her patented, "Ewww...yucky!" Here's how the conversation (generally went):
Me: "Oh, you don't find them attractive?"
Mom: "Not at all!"
Me: "Too skinny?"
Mom: "TOO FAT!!!"
Me: "Uh...you do realize this woman [point to Posh] is known for being so skinny people think she has an eating disorder?"
Mom: "Fat."
Me: "Do you SEE her arms?" [now Angelina]
Mom: "Still fat. Look at her gigantic boobs."
Me: "You do realize if you were to stand next to any of these women, you'd be very short and very huge?"
Mom: "Well, I'm fat too."
Me: "That you are." [jiggles her belly]
Yeah, Nick says I'm an ass.
And just for more complete documentation, photos of my dad's reflexology session.
Monday, June 9, 2008
I <3 alittlef
Stolen from someone else's blog:
"We’re talking about the bar we’re going to and this girl sitting next to us, says “Are you with the ND group! I’m Ashley and I’m going, too!” She then turns back to the book she’s reading and doesn’t say a word for the rest of the trip, putting her earphones back on. Andrew and I were a bit lost and followed her out of the BART terminal, but she was waiting for somebody and we didn’t want to be creepers and decided to try to find our own way, to much success........
......I was in a really goofy mood and was humming “See you again.” Ashley pulled it up on her iPhone and I think we were freaking out everybody in the car with the sing along. It’s funny how things come full circle. We found out that she just puts on her earphones so nobody will try to talk to her on the train. What a fraud! If I had an iPhone, I’d listen to awesome music on the train all the time! She didn’t talk to Andrew and I after the introduction, in her words,”the real reason I didn’t talk to you was because you were the guys on the train that everybody was trying to figure out if you were gay or not.” For the final twist, she said she was sad that we went to the bar ahead of her since she didn’t know where it was! Sort of the blind leading the blind, I guess. Anyway, it was a pretty fun night. Good times… which happens to be the name of the next tavern we’re heading to!"
"We’re talking about the bar we’re going to and this girl sitting next to us, says “Are you with the ND group! I’m Ashley and I’m going, too!” She then turns back to the book she’s reading and doesn’t say a word for the rest of the trip, putting her earphones back on. Andrew and I were a bit lost and followed her out of the BART terminal, but she was waiting for somebody and we didn’t want to be creepers and decided to try to find our own way, to much success........
......I was in a really goofy mood and was humming “See you again.” Ashley pulled it up on her iPhone and I think we were freaking out everybody in the car with the sing along. It’s funny how things come full circle. We found out that she just puts on her earphones so nobody will try to talk to her on the train. What a fraud! If I had an iPhone, I’d listen to awesome music on the train all the time! She didn’t talk to Andrew and I after the introduction, in her words,”the real reason I didn’t talk to you was because you were the guys on the train that everybody was trying to figure out if you were gay or not.” For the final twist, she said she was sad that we went to the bar ahead of her since she didn’t know where it was! Sort of the blind leading the blind, I guess. Anyway, it was a pretty fun night. Good times… which happens to be the name of the next tavern we’re heading to!"
Sunday, April 20, 2008
Movie Watching Weekend
Movie: Enchanted
Expectations: High from the 94% on RT. Ready to be charmed by Amy Adams.
Review: Watch Elf instead. It's basically the same plot, except Will Ferrel is infinitely more hilarious and less annoying than Amy Adams. Or you can do what I did and watch the two back-to-back and geekily pinpoint just how many matching scenes Enchanted had with Elf. Some examples of identical NY hijinks:
1. Getting stuck in a revolving door.
2. Discussion on what a date is.
3. Slight of hand trick.
4. Mistaking a dwarf for a mystical creature.
5. Musical number.
6. Storybook introduction.
It's a pretty extensive list. So, no points for originality. I also personally found Amy Adams to be really really annoying. Her high pitch shrieking and ditzy twirling did not translate into "charm" at all. Instead, her acting/character seemed (as Nick helpfully pointed out) more reminiscent of Charlize Theron's MR F from Arrested Development. The movie had it's moments, but overall, I'd rate it a thumbs down.
Movie: Juno
Expectations: Actually low based on Ashely's review.
Review: Officially add Michael Cera to my list. The movie was watchable and kept my interest. The idealistically intelligent approach everyone had to the teenage pregnancy definitely rang false more than a few times. And the voice-overs to convey Juno's commentary on life/showcase her snarky monotone personality were sparse, kind of random, and not conducive to the actual plot (did I really care that Juno felt the asshole actually had the hots for her?). It felt like Diablo was definitely trying too hard in the moments there. I found Jennifer Garner's performance amazing in her ability to not be as likable as Jason Bateman but definitely someone you feel for. As for Ellen Page, meh. Temper, monotone, snark - all from a tiny little girl. I get it. Veronica Mars is still way cooler.
Conclusion: One time viewing for me. Though a clip-show of Michael Cera scenes would garner obsessive repeat watching.
Movie: Forgetting Sarah Marshall
Expectations: Exceedingly high. Freaks and Geeks, Undeclared, and Veronica Mars all having some input into the movie - formula for AMAZING.
Review: REALLY REALLY hilarious. Though, Knocked Up still holds place of funniest Apatow movie for me. Go see it anyway.
Expectations: High from the 94% on RT. Ready to be charmed by Amy Adams.
Review: Watch Elf instead. It's basically the same plot, except Will Ferrel is infinitely more hilarious and less annoying than Amy Adams. Or you can do what I did and watch the two back-to-back and geekily pinpoint just how many matching scenes Enchanted had with Elf. Some examples of identical NY hijinks:
1. Getting stuck in a revolving door.
2. Discussion on what a date is.
3. Slight of hand trick.
4. Mistaking a dwarf for a mystical creature.
5. Musical number.
6. Storybook introduction.
It's a pretty extensive list. So, no points for originality. I also personally found Amy Adams to be really really annoying. Her high pitch shrieking and ditzy twirling did not translate into "charm" at all. Instead, her acting/character seemed (as Nick helpfully pointed out) more reminiscent of Charlize Theron's MR F from Arrested Development. The movie had it's moments, but overall, I'd rate it a thumbs down.
Movie: Juno
Expectations: Actually low based on Ashely's review.
Review: Officially add Michael Cera to my list. The movie was watchable and kept my interest. The idealistically intelligent approach everyone had to the teenage pregnancy definitely rang false more than a few times. And the voice-overs to convey Juno's commentary on life/showcase her snarky monotone personality were sparse, kind of random, and not conducive to the actual plot (did I really care that Juno felt the asshole actually had the hots for her?). It felt like Diablo was definitely trying too hard in the moments there. I found Jennifer Garner's performance amazing in her ability to not be as likable as Jason Bateman but definitely someone you feel for. As for Ellen Page, meh. Temper, monotone, snark - all from a tiny little girl. I get it. Veronica Mars is still way cooler.
Conclusion: One time viewing for me. Though a clip-show of Michael Cera scenes would garner obsessive repeat watching.
Movie: Forgetting Sarah Marshall
Expectations: Exceedingly high. Freaks and Geeks, Undeclared, and Veronica Mars all having some input into the movie - formula for AMAZING.
Review: REALLY REALLY hilarious. Though, Knocked Up still holds place of funniest Apatow movie for me. Go see it anyway.
Friday, April 4, 2008
Movie Review # 2
Movie: Death at a Funeral
Premise (stolen from RT): "A dignified send-off for a loved one erupts into chaos when romance, jealousy, in-laws, hallucinogens, dark secrets, life-long yearnings and a spot of bold blackmail all collide in this British comedy."
My expectations: None really. The above image of Walsh from Firefly naked on a rooftop peaked my curiosity. I was also interested in seeing a comedy that didn't involve one member of the Frat Pack.
What I got: I consistently chuckled throughout the entire movie, but I laugh easily. It's been a while since I've viewed a comedy where the laughs were derived from normal people getting into awkward situations as opposed to over-the-top characters ruining normal situations (i.e. most Will Ferrel movies). I've also always been a big fan of the multi-character storylines where individual situations all cleverly accumulate into one uproarious mess - this movie was a pretty prime example of it. Naked hallucinating Walsh with an English accent was pretty hilarious.
Conclusion: Not the greatest movie I've seen in a while, but solidly good. I recommend a mindless viewing at least once.
Score:3.75/5
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