Goal of the Day

Is to attempt a video-less entry. There's only so many times I can supplement my uninteresting nature with goofy links from Michael K or Funnyordie. People will start to notice the pattern.

So. How about a formal introduction? My new roomie Andrew from South Carolina:

He's interning at the lab this summer and is a pretty fun guy. For one thing, he allows me to pay photoshop homage to his mad skills of impersonating the Beastie Boys.

And another - he teaches me awesome dance moves. This one is called "The Stick":


Our current living situation wouldn't have come to fruition if he hadn't met this charmer of a guy:

That's Dave. He let's me pay creepy homage to his love for Miley Cyrus:


He and Andrew met last summer when they were both interns at the lab. They have pretty good chemistry and enjoy bonding over their mutual affection for striped collared shirts and mimicked katana fights:


After a chance severely awkward meeting with Ashley on BART, the rest is year-old history. Unfortunately, Dave couldn't return this summer and Ashley's at law school, so I'm pretty much left to my own personal devices to keep Andrew entertained. Future updates on how that comes along. So far, two weeks in, it hasn't been too bad. No "So...do they do the Charleston in Charleston? Hardy har har." moments yet. Score one for me.

Don't Be Afraid If You Hear Voices

Every three to six months the black fuzzy outgrowth on my upper lip hits the right level of distracting in the car mirror and I decide it's time to wage another battle on my mustache. Of course, whatever attempt I do to make myself slightly more feminine becomes a moot point when unbecoming peach fuzz is replaced by either: A)gigantic red welts from waxing/threading; or B)gleaming pink blisters along my lip line courtesy of the Nair Corporation. Last night, I opted for option B. The point of this paragraph? Not much really, except that I now look like I mistook my curling iron for lip liner and it's therapeutic to acknowledge it formally.


Jess came up this weekend (yay), which translated to my quarterly allotment of having a life and being more interesting than normal (aka not much). Between attempts at Gossip Girl marathoning and the typical GH rounds, we've managed to squeeze in a trip to SF and eat delicious dinner at Butterfly on Pier 33. General highlights of the evening:

1. Poster girls for "Beware the MyFace Angles": After the initial confusion as to why a group of mildly over-aged/weight women were dressed up in extremely under-age/sized clothing with beauty pageant sashes (Mrs. America contest was brought up as a potential explanation but nixed quickly), drunken shrieking cued us in that one lovely individual was getting married very soon. The two stall bathroom at the restaurant, unfortunately, meant that odds were against us in terms avoiding the crossfire of champagne infused estrogen overloading hysteria. My first trip to the restroom, I was privy to an improvised performance for the restaurant staff of "Yankee Doodle" which included plenty of jiggling and clapping. ("Party in the haallway. Doo Da. Doo Da.") A second trip meant that Jess and I are now officially in the know that Girl XXX has been cheating on her husband with Guy XXX and that is SO WRONG. And a blue Jessica McClintock is THE BEST prom dress ever paired with half strap/half shoe silver shoes. Especially when compared to the slutty stuff teenagers are wearing today. (Their misquoted words, not mine).

2. What Personal Hygeine? Stupidly, I decided that it was a great idea to be all "fashion over comfort" for once and don on incredibly blister-inducing heels. Eventually, I couldn't take it anymore and opted to walk in my bare feet along the Embarcadero. My nostalgia for our Japan trip increased tenfold with the heightened awareness of the copious amounts of spit on city sidewalks.

3. Dessert Had my first beignet ever. Oh. My. God. Mentally kowtowing to Jess's cousin Liz as of this moment for hooking it up. Anyone who actually knows how to make them - be my friend please?

Bromance at its Best

A: ready for this?
after the backer, MC was using the restroom
so R. went out in the snow to pee
so N. came behind him and slapped him in the ass

A: so R., pants still open, turned around and started chasing N.
then he kicked N. in the butt
and the angle at which his foot hit N. broke (or almost broke, were not sure) his foot
and the best part is that N. didn't even feel it
he kept running til he heard R. yelling on the ground

A: you should harass R. about it
well actually
an added hilarious thing is that we were all wasted
so we all tried to help him
I tried to wrap frozen pie crust around his foot
but it was frozen
so we all just threw it around the room

A: and then MC tried berries
aaaaaand
I somehow got the whole thing recorded on my voicemail

A: so all of a sudden its like OW OW OW OW FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK OW OW OW OW MY FOOT MY FOOT MY FOOT
and then for four minutes it's R. yelling and the rest of us laughing

A: punctuated by N. yelling "I'm just trying to help, man!"

me: ..."breaking foot on boy's ass" sounds so much funnier than "falling into car"

A: true true
with penis hanging out, btw


And my favorite super bowl commercial:

I <3 alittlef

Stolen from someone else's blog:
"We’re talking about the bar we’re going to and this girl sitting next to us, says “Are you with the ND group! I’m Ashley and I’m going, too!” She then turns back to the book she’s reading and doesn’t say a word for the rest of the trip, putting her earphones back on. Andrew and I were a bit lost and followed her out of the BART terminal, but she was waiting for somebody and we didn’t want to be creepers and decided to try to find our own way, to much success........

......I was in a really goofy mood and was humming “See you again.” Ashley pulled it up on her iPhone and I think we were freaking out everybody in the car with the sing along. It’s funny how things come full circle. We found out that she just puts on her earphones so nobody will try to talk to her on the train. What a fraud! If I had an iPhone, I’d listen to awesome music on the train all the time! She didn’t talk to Andrew and I after the introduction, in her words,”the real reason I didn’t talk to you was because you were the guys on the train that everybody was trying to figure out if you were gay or not.” For the final twist, she said she was sad that we went to the bar ahead of her since she didn’t know where it was! Sort of the blind leading the blind, I guess. Anyway, it was a pretty fun night. Good times… which happens to be the name of the next tavern we’re heading to!"

Photoshop

Some new and old additions:

1. Andrew the American Gladiator


2. Respecting her marriage:


3. Historic Boob: